dilluns, de juliol 30, 2007

Appell

...U wiehed hallejnih jippassiga Praga u jinnetwerkja f'pajjizu
...U l-iehor hallejnih jaghtina daru biex jimxi lejn il-blogg tal-futbol
...U l-iehor hallejnih jiekol il-Miso u jippowstja r-ritratti
...U l-iehor hallejnih jintervista r-Rifffs
...U l-iehor hallejnih imur lejn il-MySpace
...U l-iehor hallejnih jippowstja l-komiks
...U l-iehor hallejnih ihaffer fil-Libya
...U l-iehor hallejnih ighix fl-ghid
...U l-iehor... u l-iehor.. u l-iehor... u...


Il-blogosfera Maltija kienet wahda mill-affarijiet l-iktar ecitanti li qatt gew miktuba bil-Malti. Tista' tqmadarhom u difetti tista' ssibilhom imma r-realta' tibqa' li kienu (generalment) interessanti u kienu (generalment) miktuba sew. Iva, veru, ftit minnhom - fosthom tieghi - ma kienux dejjem dwar temi estremament topici u ta' spiss kienu jiddevjaw fl-ego tal-kittieb imma hekk ghamel ukoll kwazi kull ktieb li qrajt f'hajti. Jekk ma tafx issir thobb, jew almenu ma tasalx tissoporti l-ego u s-superego tal-kittieb, l-ebda ktieb jew l-ebda bicca arti ma jghoddu ghalik.

Ejjew lura. Ejjew. Iktbu zozzerija dwar il-qattus jew dwar ic-cheddar li kiltu l-bierah jew - li jkun. L-aqwa li tigu lura u tergghu taqbu t-telgha...

dimecres, de juliol 25, 2007

mangia patria

Eating at Maltese restaurants has become an expensive endeavour, but the food has become exponentially better. For starters thing the chefs are much more inventive and are using their ingredients in a much more intelligent way than ever before. There might eventually be a few
who think they're the new Ferran Adrià simply because they've stuffed some Ghajnsielem fennel seeds and shiitake mushrooms up a lamb's backside, but on the whole I think new-school Maltese chefs are still in that knowingly naive, pre-celeb stage where still they're having fun playing with new ingredients and unearthing centuries-old Maltese recipes (yes, centuries). And charging us for their fun of course.

Tlaqna...


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TWO AND A HALF LEMON
Vittoriosa Waterfront, Birgu (Vittoriosa)

PLUS

The design. A marvellous and ingenious reworking of traditional Maltese design elements (and by traditional I mean both patterned tiles and the beautifully Dickensian gloom of early seventies government ministries) into one coherently designed package. Congrats to the designers - keep it up and prosit tal-programm.

MINUS

The manager/waiter/chef looks and sounds uncannily like Mark Vella. Since he spent more than fifteen seconds not talking about himself while taking our order, we are forced to conclude it isn't him after all.

CROWD

A bald yacht owner trying to impress his clearly unimpressed and unimpressionable East European girlfriend/escort and a small throng of umbrella-wielding Germans (mit eine tour leader).

COMMENTS

Well worth checking out. Unfortunately I haven't eaten there yet so I don't know if the food is any good but with a Mark Vella lookalike at the helm I'd be surprised if it would('nt) be.



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2-22
Valletta Ring Road (Triq L-Assedju L-Kbir), Valletta


PLUS

Let's start with the design. It's nice. Very nice. Not terribly inventive but very nice. More glass than you can shake a pane at. From Hoxton to Prenzlauer Berg, you've seen these glass behemoths before but this place proves my "stop-calling-modernist-buildings-monstrosities" theory - i.e. 16th century military baroque blends well with Blade Runnerish glass 'n' steel (which shall inevitably date horribly in less than fifteen years). Told ya.

MINUS

The wait! A two and a half hour wait for two courses (ravioli with duck breast and trio of sorbets) is simply unacceptable. The tried and tested routine of haranguing the waiter does, however, produce said ravioli and/or trio of sorbets. I don't know what the reason for such a long wait was (we were the first clients), but if he's playing ping-pong or learning new ballet steps in his kitchen, I want to see the man representing Malta in the next Small Nations Games - and we'll lynch him if he doesn't come back with a handful of gold medals. Bronze is for losers. And fuck San Marino.

CROWD

Local and foreign yuppies, that famous lawyer (forgot her name) and a family from da 'hood who drank like fish (although fish don't drink alcohol so that's not a very good simile...)

COMMENTS

The food was nice. Not orgasmic but it was decently executed. However, the place won't last long unless the chef gets off the valeriana and on amphetamines and the manager ties a mule in the kitchen to kick(start) him into life every few seconds.


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HONDOQ KIOSK
Hondoq Ir-Rummien Bay, Qala (Gozo)

PLUS

A friend of mine waxed lyrical about their home-made tortellini. I'm always suspicious of the word "home-made". If I'd want home cooking I wouldn't go to a restaurant would I? Anyway... they were very good indeed but as far as the claim that they were home-made (presumably by a loving, moustachioed nanna in some derelict farmhouse in Ghasri) goes, I think it's a case of him (like many other Maltese) over-romanticising anything that comes from our sister island. They tasted very familiar, and with good reason too - they're the brand I use.

MINUS

This was the first time I ever saw Hondoq ir-Rummien. I was disappointed. It's an attractive beach but I didn't even bother getting my kit off. The beach is ridiculously overcrowded with obese Maltese kids and flustered Gozitan parents. Anyway, a 10 minute walk through the fields just off the winding stretch which leads to Qala and some Indiana Jonesing over rubble walls will (eventually) lead you to a small secluded beach. What's more, this place is brimming with more sea urchins (rizzi) than your knife can cope with - clean them and cook them in olive oil and parsley for your loved ones or send them (raw and poisoned) to your enemies. There's also a (very visible) sewage duct which brought up horrific images of my girlfriend and I swimming upstream, and eventually drowning, in a sea of shit and our parents wrinkling their noses when they're requested to identify our corpses at the morgue. Fortunately said shit did not materialise. I think.

COMMENTS


Well worth it, lovely tortellini and the burgers look quite tasty too... but it's not like Hondoq Bay is teeming with Michelin-starred restaurants either. Bertagni - hip hip hooray!


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THE KITCHEN
Triq it-Torri, Sliema

PLUS

Hands down, my favourite restaurant in Malta (or on Malta if you wish). The chef studied in Belgium and it shows (well, tastes actually). The composition is balanced and the execution is just right. It's like being back in Brussels, minus the rain in summer and the dogshit on the pavement.

MINUS

The design isn't bad but I don't like it all that much and the name sucks - makes it hard to google...

COMMENTS

Go eat there.


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RUBINO
Triq l-Ifran, Valletta

PLUS

An institution. Still good after all these years. Again - not orgasmic, but still very good.

MINUS

The prices were never cheap but they've become bejewelled-floozy-in-Iceland's-most-expensive-neighbourhood prices now.

COMMENTS

His Cassata Siciliana remains the best on the island. Eat it before you die horribly in a bizarre paddle-boating accident or are squished by the horrific majesty of the Lord's hand of death while camping on Comino. A pox on you I say!

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MAXIMS
Triq il-Kbira San Guzepp, Hamrun


PLUS

I'm from Hamrun, and as such I carry a flick-knife in my back pocket even when I'm showering, tattoo religious imagery on my left arm using rusty safety pins and frequently buy large white porcelain greyhounds with gilded eyes to adorn my living room. I also eat at Maxims. The first one ever. The real one. No MacSeans, McSim's (or even McDonalds) for me. I never quite understood if the multitude of quasi-namesakes are estranged relatives or business partners who decided to go it alone or unauthorised rip-offs. Anyways...

His pizza is still the loveliest greasy slop to ever grace any Hamruniz's palate... and we know good greasy slop when we taste it. The mushrooms seem to have been violently drowned in weeks-old cheap sunflower oil before being cooked which gives them a very particular tanginess. His pizza bil-Wudy is just as good. The taste is nowhere near as good as Lo Zozzone's [Via del Teatro Pace, Roma] white pizza or his pizza al taglio or Maxokk's [Triq San Gakbu, Nadur] ftira miftuha, but since I don't live in the eternal city or the narcoleptic village it'll have to make do.

Watch out for the inordinately sharp knife the guy uses to cut them into neat squares. And don't piss him off. They don't call us Tas-Sikkina for nothing you know...

MINUS

Closes at midnight. Don't worry, the Kazin Nazzjonalista next door opens at 6AM and still serves a pigalicious amount of appetizers (including salami, pecorino, cured ham, pitted olives, etc). Don't worry about politics, even if you're "the enemy". As long as you're not sporting a wig or you're not wearing any oversized belt buckles you'll be fine. After that, cross the road to try Elia (Borg Bonaci)'s ham and cheese toast and one of his lovely sicilian pastries or vanilla roly-poly. Avoid the cross-dressing waiter that turns into a blood-sucking werewolf at 9:30 AM... they don't call us Ta' Werwer for nothing you know...

COMMENTS

Taaaaas-Sikkina maghrufin, ta' Werwer ahna mlaqqmin... Ifthulna t-triq - hadd ma jistgha ghalina... U lil tal-Belt nghidulhom: &"*!&*£^*&%£!!

Etiquetes de comentaris: , ,

dijous, de juliol 19, 2007

L'hemm u l'hawn

Ejjj! Ara minn hawn... Is-Sur Vot.. erm ridt nghid Is-Sur Gremxula.
Nista' naqdik f'xi haga? Xi presidential pardon forsi?

Ghadni kemm gejj minn vaganza Malta. Damet snin biex tidhol imma fl-ahhar hakmitni sew in-nostalgija u l-kilba ghall-pajjiz (homesickness)...

Malta ma nbidlitx wisq. U fejn inbidlet, generalment inbidlet ghall-ahjar...

1. Il-prezzijiet. Meta nigi dejjem toqghod tqabbel il-prezzijiet ta' Brussell u ta' Malta u tohrog dejjem rebbieh. Din id-darba daqshekk. Kull darba li wasal kont hadni ghall-gharrieda. Ili nara gejja u fl-ahhar waslet - Malta hi daqs, jew iktar ghalja, minn Brussell. Propjeta', ristoranti, ikel (hlief hxejjex) kwazi kollox indaqs jew iktar. Il-problema hi l-pagi huma differenti wkoll. Nistaqsi lili nnifsi kif jaghmlu n-nies biex ilhaqqu mal-hajja - imma hekk jaghmlu l-familja tieghi u l-familji ta' 405,000 maltin ohra.

2. L-ikel. Fl-ahhar! Malta waslet rivoluzzjoni zghira... mhux biss ix-xeffs Maltin skoprew il-prodotti Maltin u qed jintegrawhom fl-ikel izda saru iktar avventuruzi f'dak li jsajru u kif isajruh. Id-dizinn ta' l-aredament huwa hafna ahjar ukoll. Hawn, halliha li l-kokijiet ghax skoprew ir-rucola (li iffisaw fuqha u qed idahhluha kullimkien) iddecidew li jghollu l-prezzijiet... imma insomma. Iktar dwar dan f'powst ohra.

3. Il-bilingwizmu. Qed nara iktar u iktar postijiet juzaw il-Malti jew iz-zewg lingwi. Tajjeb. Naqbel ukoll ma' ittra fil-gazzetta li fakkret, fid-dawl tal-fatt li l-kap ta' Din L-Art Helwa apparentement ma jafx bil-Malti, li l-lingwa taghmel parti hi wkoll mill-patrimonju kulturali taghna. Hu irribatta li ghandu dritt jitkellem b'liema lingwa jrid ghax il-kostituzzjoni tghid li t-tnejn huma lingwi ufficjali. Il-kostituzzjoni tghid ukoll li l-Malti hi l-lingwa nazzjonali. Ma tantx hi risposta fis-sod wisq ghal xi hadd fil-posizzjoni tieghu. Teknikament, ghandu ragun - biss ir-ragun tieghu jista' jitqabbel ma xi hadd li jfakkar li ghandu dritt ma tinhasilx ghal gimghatejn. Vera, imma umbaghad ma jridx jiehu ghalih jekk hadd ma jrid jintefgha hdejh...

5. L-isbah post ta' Malta. Esplorajt post fejn qatt ma kont mort. Hu post ta' pirati, qassisin solitarji, kabbalisti Spanjoli eziljati u bdiewa Sqallin eccentrici. Post ta' fniek slavagg u ta progetti abbandunati ta' malajr. Ma niddejjaq xejn ikolli l-okkazzjoni inkun il-hames resident permanenti. Ma tarawnix bhala sindku ta' Kemmuna? Jien nemmen fl-ugwaljanza, u b'hekk, kieku nibda billi nghati d-dritt tal-vot lill-gremxul. U l-qzieqez ukoll. Il-Gnien favorit tieghi (Gnien Romeo Romano, Sta. Venera) u l-belt favorita tieghi (Il-Birgu) sbiehu. Din ta' l-ahhar tant saret fjurita u nadifa li kwazi kwazi stennejtni ha nara lill-William Tell jiekol xi pastizz jew l-ufficju centrali tal-Credit Suisse biswit il-kazin ta' San Lawrenz...

6. Il-bram. Kullimkien. Ma gidmuniex imma tant kien hemm li ma stajniex nghoddsu sew fil-Crystal Lagoon. La nsir sindku bla vot ser jibqghu. Hekk jew hekk m'ghandix x'naghmel bihom il-floating voters...

7. L-istorbju. Insejt kemm huma kbar id-djar tal-Maltin. Bazikament ghogbitni li nista' ngholli l-istereo kemm irrid u, iktar importanti minn hekk, wara ikla ghand ir-Rubino kollha cicri, fazola u pizelli, inboss bass li jasal jrieghed kerrejja f'Napli u jinkwieta sejsmografi fit-Tunisija. U nwehhel fil-kelb.

8. Il-periti. Hemm bzonn naraw x'naghmlu. Jekk il-periti jazzardaw jipprovaw ihazzu xi haga ghall xi kuntrattur ta' l-easy-money naqtaghlhom idejhom barra, Midnight Express style. Kull m'hawn mibni u l-arkitettura hi tal-wahx. In-nuqqas ta' vizjoni u l-sfaccatagni huma inkredibbli. Fejn mhux mibni huwa "earmarked" - nahseb ghanda par widnejn kbar hafna Malta...

9. Il-PAVI. Niehu pjacir nixtri l-affarijiet ta' l-Auchan Malti imma kemmxejn konfuz kif ghalkemm in-nies inqas jitkellmu bit-Taljan milli meta kont zghir jien, il-hanut jistokkja kwazi esklussivament prodotti taljani bit-tikketti bit-Taljan biss. Huma jafu. Problema l-gobnerija. Ma staqsejt ghal xejn kumplikat - Ghal brebis... u mill-ewwel beda jaqta l-brie (ma kienx jaf x'inhu Brebis... imbasta bil-vavalor "Maitre Crémier"). Lanqas gobon li kont insib ghand il-grocer ta' hdejja (ricotta salata) ma kellu. Jien cheese snob, iva.

10. Il-pjacir li ma tkunx barrani. Kemm hu sabih taqbad titkellem bla ma tahseb. Ghal ragunijiet li mhux ser nidhol fihom (ghax insir qisni rottweiler indannat li ghadom kemm serqulu l-ghadma kbira u tqarmec tieghu meta nitkellem fuq il-lingwa Franciza u x'kelli inbaghti minhabba fiha) hadt pjacir kbir li ma smajtx il-lingwa franciza ghal gimgha u nofs. Numru ta' elementi ghamluni francophobe, u kull ma smajt u qrajt f'Malta kien bil-Malti, bl-Ingliz u t-Taljan. Tlett lingwi li nhobb... tje ghall-wicc Molière!

Kulturalment, ma nafx ghalfejn, bnejt stampa falza f'mohhi. Sibt li kien hemm rivoluzzjoni li hakmet is-settur hekk kif hakmet is-settur tal-catering. Mhux il-kaz. Gieli jkun hemm xi haga tajba imma ghall-parti l-kbira x-xena tibqa' lubiena u m'ghanda assolutament xejn x'taqsam ma' tal-kontinent.

In generali, Malta sirt inhobba hafna. Ironikament, il-fatt li m'ghandix ghalfejn nghix hemmhekk u li jien fortunat bizzejjed li kull ma hi tlett sieghat 'l boghod bl-ajruplan nahseb huma elementi li forsi ghenu biex dan isehh...